I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
