Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
