I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
