it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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