In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
