K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i think my cat just said my name.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
