i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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