Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize