Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
