who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why can't burritos get me drunk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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