Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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