its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Two words: nipple clamps
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