well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
