I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
