i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think your dad took our porno
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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