yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
