loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
