people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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