using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize