Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Want to have sex later?

(614): View more from Ohio

This feels like a trap

Fav 27 3720 1221
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(925): View more from California

At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.

Fav 9 4484 1691
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(925): View more from California

Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

Fav 8 2718 1318
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(802): View more from Vermont

If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

Fav 11 1323 2160
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(514): View more from Quebec

I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?

Fav 16 1220 2484
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(989): View more from Michigan

I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog

(989): View more from Michigan

They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.

Fav 5 1421 889
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(612): View more from Minnesota

we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

Fav 6 1501 613
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(661): View more from California

All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.

(310): View more from California

I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.

Fav 1 298 98
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(409): View more from Texas

Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden

Fav 0 9 44
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