Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
