Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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