my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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