thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
