No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I will pee on everything he values.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
