Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
