how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
