is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
