Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
its not stalking. its research.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
