you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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