Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
