if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
