Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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