I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
