Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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