Im at strip club and am horny
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I could fuck to npr.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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