I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
