Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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