I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize