Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
