Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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