I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
