Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
