Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
