OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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