This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
