I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
