She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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