why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize