I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
