Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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