i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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