he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
