when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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