So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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