Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
