so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
