Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
