C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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