They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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