I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
